Edit, Then Edit, And Then Edit Again!!!!

The Original

Chudleigh begins the poem with a tone of frustration over how women are shown to be nothing more than housemaids but, being a women herself and having no say in the matter, she carries a voice of obedience, simply stating her thoughts on marriage. She quickly makes her thoughts on a wife’s role evident in the first line of the poem when she says, “wife and servant are the same” (Chudleigh 1). Almost instantaneously, she is acknowledging women to be lesser than their male counterparts. Through her tone we can see that it is clearly upsetting to the speaker that men have such an overwhelming power over women. The speaker says nothing to negate this statement demonstrating a tone of frustration over the matter, but still a voice of obedience. Later in the poem her dissatisfied attitude is again brought to light:  “when she the word obey has said/and man by law supreme has made” (Chudleigh 5-6). The speaker again recognizes the statement but does nothing to address it, once again representing the speaker’s obedient tone. At this point in the poem the speaker has only demonstrated her anger with the status of wives. She has remained obedient and has said nothing more that what is expected of her. As the voice of frustration and obedience continues, the tone ultimately evolves and begins to question men as well as marriage.

The Revision

Chudleigh begins the poem with a tone of frustration over how women are shown to be nothing more than housemaids but, as powerless women, she obediently states her thoughts on marriage. She quickly makes her thoughts on a wife’s role evident, when she says, “wife and servant are the same” (Chudleigh 1). Instantaneously, she acknowledges women to be lesser than their male counterparts. Through her tone we can see the speaker’s frustration over the command men have over women. The speaker fails to negate the statement, which demonstrates frustration and helplessness over the matter. Later in the poem her dissatisfied attitude again comes to light:  “when she the word obey has said/and man by law supreme has made” (Chudleigh 5-6). The speaker again recognizes the statement but does not address her anger over a women’s role, which further displays the sparker’s frustration. By now the speaker has only demonstrated her anger with the status of wives. She has remained silent and has said no more than what is expected. As the voice of frustration continues, the tone slowly evolves and begins to question men and further marriage.