Edit, Then Edit, And Then Edit Again!!!!

The Original

Chudleigh begins the poem with a tone of frustration over how women are shown to be nothing more than housemaids but, being a women herself and having no say in the matter, she carries a voice of obedience, simply stating her thoughts on marriage. She quickly makes her thoughts on a wife’s role evident in the first line of the poem when she says, “wife and servant are the same” (Chudleigh 1). Almost instantaneously, she is acknowledging women to be lesser than their male counterparts. Through her tone we can see that it is clearly upsetting to the speaker that men have such an overwhelming power over women. The speaker says nothing to negate this statement demonstrating a tone of frustration over the matter, but still a voice of obedience. Later in the poem her dissatisfied attitude is again brought to light:  “when she the word obey has said/and man by law supreme has made” (Chudleigh 5-6). The speaker again recognizes the statement but does nothing to address it, once again representing the speaker’s obedient tone. At this point in the poem the speaker has only demonstrated her anger with the status of wives. She has remained obedient and has said nothing more that what is expected of her. As the voice of frustration and obedience continues, the tone ultimately evolves and begins to question men as well as marriage.

The Revision

Chudleigh begins the poem with a tone of frustration over how women are shown to be nothing more than housemaids but, as powerless women, she obediently states her thoughts on marriage. She quickly makes her thoughts on a wife’s role evident, when she says, “wife and servant are the same” (Chudleigh 1). Instantaneously, she acknowledges women to be lesser than their male counterparts. Through her tone we can see the speaker’s frustration over the command men have over women. The speaker fails to negate the statement, which demonstrates frustration and helplessness over the matter. Later in the poem her dissatisfied attitude again comes to light:  “when she the word obey has said/and man by law supreme has made” (Chudleigh 5-6). The speaker again recognizes the statement but does not address her anger over a women’s role, which further displays the sparker’s frustration. By now the speaker has only demonstrated her anger with the status of wives. She has remained silent and has said no more than what is expected. As the voice of frustration continues, the tone slowly evolves and begins to question men and further marriage.

Revised Introduction and Outline

My revised introduction and outline for my essay.

Brilliant writers such as Lady Mary Chudleigh, the author of the poem “To the Ladies”, are able to use a variety of tools including tone to emphasize specific excerpts of the text and create a more charismatic poem. While the poem introduces women as submissive, essentially only existing to serve men, the speaker later provides a tone of experience from what could possibly be her own marriage, allowing her to administer advise to women. As the poem progresses the speakers tone evolves, ultimately mocking men of their so-called power. By the end of the poem the speakers voice encourages women to take control and be confidant in who they are by avoiding marriage. Through her tone, Chudleigh creates a more relatable poem and is able to empower women to be independent.

I.      When Chudleigh begins to introduce women she displays them to be nothing more than a housemaid, seeming to have no say in the matter.

a.     “Wife and Servant are the same”

b.     When she the word obey has said, And Man by Law supreme has made”

II.     As the poem continues a different tone, a voice somewhat insulting men, begins to unfold of

a.     “Him still must serve, him still obey, And nothing act, and nothing say, But what her haughty Lord sees fit”

b.     “Who with all the Pow’r, has all the Wit”

III.  Ultimately Chudleigh is able to use the speakers voice and prior experience to advise women to abstain from marriage and the control of men.

a.     “And all the fawning Flatt’rers hate:”

b.     “Value your selves, and Men despise”

c.      “You must be proud"

To the Ladies poem